It’s the start of a brand new week and I’m back today with my 19th cover in my reimagining of the Jimmy Eat World catalogue and today we’re asking…. do you feel lucky? Do..do ya?
Listen to Jimmy Eat World’s original recording first:
Now here’s mine!
It took me a bit to solidify a direction for this one. And even while tracking the electric guitars, I still wasn’t sure I was going to keep going with using either of them.
And it felt weird to eventually decide to omit bass and drums entirely for this one, but for the sake of trying something a little different I went ahead with just my acoustic guitar and two supplementary electric guitar lines that feed off each other throughout.
I’ve mentioned before that my preferred way of tackling Jimmy Eat World songs is to lean into the sad-side of the songs. While the original version of this one is really upbeat, energetic and gets you excited to dance, I went the other way, leaning into the vibe I’m often in when I’m pulled back into listening to songs like this – sitting on my bedroom floor contemplative, upset and a little angry.
Some people call that “emo”.
On my twitter page I described the actual picture in my head for this one… we’re all fans of The Wedding Singer, right?
I think it actually turned out pretty well even though I was super apprehensive about tracking the song this way. I think it’s cool, and a little unexpected.
Now, let’s jump into those lyrics for a sec before we unveil what cover will mark our 20th release and cap off album 2 of the Jaimee Eat World compilation series.
It’s always quite funny to me when a song seem to nail the question that you’re throwing around in your day-to-day. The last couple years for me have been nothing short of an endless rollercoaster with a remarkable level of questions left without any answer and admittedly it didn’t take long within these years to reach the point of asking myself, “what’s an answer gonna prove, anyways?” Sometimes you know instinctively what that answer is and worse yet, you know you won’t like it, so perhaps it’s better to shelve it entirely and move on without every knowing.
Of course if you’re someone like me this only leads to the question making annoying recurrences in the days, weeks and months that follow that are frustrating and painful the longer you go on without the clarity you’re looking for.
You know, for a very long time every time I watched films or series that depicted a character going through deep heartbreak, I not only couldn’t relate to it but I couldn’t fully understand it. Despite the things I’d gone through even as a very young girl, I had early adopted a certain numbness in order to cope with those feelings. And aside from the passing of my beloved dogs over the years, I didn’t know what it meant to lose someone or something you truly cared for more than yourself.
As it turns out that’s not the worst kind of heartbreak which is something I’d learn much later in my own life than I would’ve hoped.
The worst kind of heartbreak is losing yourself.
These two verses probably best summarize my own perspective of the world I live in right now. It’s this comical mix of everything being so absurd and awful that surely it must be a joke, only the unsettling realization that I’ve been here in these shoes before and somehow I still haven’t learned how to do this waltz properly.
And every day I wake with the feigned optimism of my younger self only to be reminded that this is an oncurring cycle that I just exist in now. Almost as quickly as I am excited and enthralled by something or someone, I am reminded of who I am and where I stand.
And it sucks that feeling right out before it’s even had a chance to make any sort of imprint in my mind or heart.
Yet every day I carry on, following my best judgements and instincts, certain I can’t be so daft to be so off base with such incredible regularity. And I try once again to open up to people who I think would make this experience of simply living and existing more tolerable only to be reminded that their path is leading them another direction entirely and they’ve all but turned around before I’ve gotten the words I hope to say out of my mouth.
And so we remain in what I can only deduce as being purgatory (pardon the religious metaphors but when you’ve been indoctrinated into something from a young age, it’s a difficult thing to put away). Neither completely terrible or ever remaining in some state of bliss, everything and nothing is a complete waste of time.
Of course despite understanding and believing that, there’s always something to hold on to, to stretch for, to hope and try to achieve that keeps you forever chasing that invisible carrot that makes up your internal compass.
Forever unsure and uncertain if it’s worth continuing along or if it’s best to let go, because for every step you feel you get closer, there’s the potential for it getting worse.
In these moments is when I often turn to my favourite bands or artists to help me realign myself, but it’s a funny way of coping when you’re wholly aware that despite how much you may derive meaning to yourself with their words, you know they’re not singing for you, for your experience.
From where I stand, the house is straw, and it’s cold out tonight.
And that sucks.
The next cover will mark the completion of 2 full albums for this project as keeping with Jimmy Eat World’s steady 10-song album cycle and since I want to keep to my goal of having the first 20 songs completed by the end of June, with my upcoming trip to Poland creeping up quick, that gives me just this week to meet that goal.
That said, I don’t like to choose songs for the sake of choosing them or rushing them for an arbitrary reason. They are all special and carry their own meanings to me and one of the things I’ve been realizing through this process is that my impulse to complete a cover tends to be strongly driven by whatever I’m working through in my daily life.
Without getting too deep into it, it feels fitting to complete album 2 with what’s arguably the band’s most critical release to date: The Middle.
I’m not sure Jimmy Eat World would have the longevity they do without this song specifically.
I’m not sure I would be the musician I am today without this song specifically.
I’m not sure I would care about much of anything at all without this song, specifically.
Hopefully this week I can do it some sort of justice.
Thanks as ever for listening and don’t forget you can listen to the entire discography so far on its page right here on my website:
Yesterday I released a brand new original song for my new band project Neither Could Dylan. It’s called “Happy” and you can listen to it right here on my website or over on YouTube.
Would love to hear what ya think!