Obviously I didn’t expect Donald Trump to completely lose his mind and start attacking my homeland Canada publically when I was originally making my plans to visit Seattle, although at this point I can’t say it caught me in any way by surprise either.
In all honesty I don’t take much of what he says seriously anymore – I know I should, but he’s clearly mentally ill and backtracks on a whim every single day, so it’s better to let the old man sputter sometimes and wait to see how it plays out in the rest of our realities.
It was a point of great contention with myself, morally and otherwise, and so at one point I had decided I would just cut my loss on the $100 ticket to Death Cab’s Seattle show and sit this one out.
Which, by the way & since we talked about show costs earlier, is a great price point for a headline band. Especially Death Cab because you really feel like you get your money’s worth and then don’t feel so bad about buying some merch afterwards (more on that later).
I went back and fourth on it for a while; the decision to stay or go. He wasn’t just absent mindedly threatening Canadian sovereignty, he was allowing and encouraging border agents to hold innocent people captive without due process and sending them to camps. Now, as a Polish Canadian, I have to take it extra seriously when a person of German descent beleives they can wield this rather specific type of power.
On the other hand an American invasion of Canadian soil would be utterally ridiculous and I think he really underestimates both our and our allies strength.
How are we even having these types of conversations about Canadian/US relations in 2025? We as people have not learned a God damn thing in all of our lifetimes.
I was listening to Crooked Teeth when I ultimately decided to go.
And I knew I’d made a horrible call
And now the state line felt like the Berlin Wall
And there was no doubt about which side I was on
I refuse to let Donald Trump of all people dictate my life. I certainly didn’t elect this psychopath. Besides, I was going to one of the most democratic cities in all of the States, it’s not like I was going to some gun-centric Bible belt town, this was Seattle, Washington.
I finalized my tickets and hotel and called it a day. I guess my heart has stronger love for Death Cab For Cutie than it does my Canadian pride – they’ve been there for me through more and I felt like my overall way of life until this point would have made up for the hit I was about to take for doing it.
Which brings us to here – the trip to Seattle.
Trains
I’d heard it’s a nice train ride if you’re able to take it, so I was really happy that I wasn’t too late in buying my ticket. The Amtrak was only $80 and you didn’t need to be at the station super early, so that’s all a bonus, too. When you arrive at the station there’s not really anyone there yet, but you can grab your declaration card and fill it out so you’re ready for when the line starts to form. It all moved pretty fast and before long we were on board ready to go. There’s WiFi, though for me it was too choked up too bother with, plugs to charge-up at your seats and an on-board cafe for food and drinks. Once we got moving I grabbed a coffee, Seattle-made chocolate chip cookie (good, but a little too sweet) and the world’s worst breakfast burrito (the tortilla stuck to the paper and it became a soggy mess real fast) and settled in.
It was a really comfortable way to make the trip down, I highly recommend it. It’s just really nice to have so much extra room and the ability to take a walk around if you want to stretch your legs a bit. I was mildly nervous about the border crossing given some of the stories that have hit the news, but they didn’t really ask many questions and it was all really efficient.
Somewhere along the way we did get some bad news however; The bathrooms weren’t working properly on the train and were rendered unusable for the duration of the trip. This meant I got to step off the train in Bellingham, Ben Gibbard’s hometown, to relieve myself at the station. Of course I’d like to see more of Bellingham one day, but I give the station a solid 7/10 and find it at least a little funny that that’s the reason I can now sort of say I’ve been to Bellingham.
Onwards we go.
Most of the ride you get a great view of the water, but it was otherwise uneventful until we arrived in Seattle. Once off the train we were asked to wait by another gate for our bags to be offloaded and when this seemed to be taking quite a bit of time, we got word that we’d unfortunately entered the station at the same time as another train and they only had 2 people working the baggage, so we’d be waiting a bit before it got to us.
This seems to be the common problem across all industries, but particularly within the travel industry – not enough staff, but companies also don’t seem to want to hire. It took well over an hour to get our bags to the gate, a small trolley of maybe only 20 bags that needed to be rolled some 60 feet. I read up on Seattle boat tours to pass the time while others remarked it probably would have been faster to have us all retrieve our bags ourselves (they were right).
I walked from the train station to my hotel taking in as much as I could. It was already a hot morning and much like Vancouver, it’d stay pretty clear all week.
I chose to stay at The Moore Hotel, chosen both for price (it was only about $200 more than my Vancouver hostel for the same amount of evenings) and proximity to the Climate Pledge Arena where the show would take place on Thursday. It’s a very cool hotel; built in 1907 alongside the Moore Theatre. Seattle, I’d learn quickly, loves it’s theatres. They seem to be everywhere! Every block I turned included another marquee and some unique selection of performances or films being shown.
My room was huge, especially compared to the hostel it felt like a gigantic upgrade. It had super high ceilings, a massive walk-in closet, my own bathroom (hell yea!) Queen bed and more space than I knew what to do with. There’s no complimentary breakfast here (but honestly I almost never want it when it’s offered to me anyway), but there is a cafe attached to the lobby that serves breakfast (waffles are the specialty) and of course coffee and other pastries. The Moore also has a restaurant but I didn’t dine in it while I was there, so I can’t say much about it. Across the street there is a really popular breakfast diner called the Ludi that always had a line out the door as early at 7AM, but if none of that appealed there was no shortage of cafe’s and other places you could grab a bite within a short walk of the hotel. Heck, Pike Market is only about 10 minutes down the road! I have zero complaints about the location of where I stayed, it was very convenient for me.
Not wanting to miss any daylight, I ditched my jacket and hit the town.
I skirted down to the water first and over to Olympic Park. People would say hi as I made my way, painting Seattle as much friendly than I’d seen other describe online.
I didn’t really have a plan of things I really wanted to do in Seattle. I sort of just wanted to wander around and think about what it was like to live there and if I felt it, some touristy-adventures.
I couldn’t help but visit the Seattle Space Needle to compare it to Toronto’s CN Tower.
It was a Monday afternoon so it wasn’t too busy, but there was still a bit of wait (not like I have anywhere else to be though). The Space Needle obviously isn’t as tall as the C.N Tower, but it’s got a cooler aesthetic and otherwise the same bells & whistles; glass floor, rotating 360 views, fast elevators.
It was cool to see the city from higher up though and get a sense of how large it is. As I scowered the skyline I caught the Climate Pledge Arena sign below me (ah, there you are!) and felt even from this height it seemed on the smaller side than I was expecting.
Seattle offers a City Pass if you want to check out a few different attractions while you’re there, it’ll help save you a few bucks. I didn’t think I’d need one, but I ended up going to a few different places over the course of the week so I recommend you don’t be like me and make sure you grab one of the passes if you’ll be in town for a minute.
I ended up taking on of the Harbour cruises kind of on a whim. I wanted to see and learn more, but I also wanted to sit down and I thought the boat would offer a nice breeze to counter the heat. In retrospect I should have gone for the 2-hour option (because where do I have to be?) but I ended up taking the 1-hour one that kind of just goes around Elliott Bay. While in line for the cruise I ended up speaking to a man who was on vacation with his son; they were from Detroit (or another city right near Detroit that I can’t recall the name of now) and we ended up having some pretty great chats. When they found out I was from Canada we talked a little bit about our political troubles and I expressed I wasn’t sure I should’ve come to Washington given it all. Funnily enough, they expressed that they actually would have liked to visit Canada again (they love Toronto and I told them they’d be more than welcome by us), but they were worried about regaining entry to America.
What a weird time we live in right now.
They were the first but not the last Americans I’d speak to that would share those sentiments – being afraid of their own government barring them or detaining them unlawfully.
Fuck Trump, honestly. What a complete piece of shit he is.
Anyway, so we ended up chatting about music after I told them about what I do back home and I got some great book recommendations; Chrissie Hynde and Patti Smith’s memoirs. They seemed to think I’d really gain a lot from Chrissie Hynde’s book, but that Patti’s was a great read, too. I kept them in mind and was thankful for the suggestions – I have difficulty deciding when I enter book and record stores, there are just so many options.
We chatted some more on the boat when opportunities arose; they had just come from Portland, Oregon and thought I’d love to visit there, too. They shared some photos and videos of a cool record store there that had an insanely large collection (how could I ever decide in there?!) and mentioned that the staff was crazy knowledgable. I always appreciate meeting people like this. They even recommended a doughnut place: VooDoo Doughnuts. It was only my first day in Seattle, but when I’d stumble into conversations like this I’d feel much better about my decision to visit.
And I highly recommend the harbour tour. I learned a great deal from the guide and it was so relaxing. Can’t go wrong with a good boat ride on a sunny summer day.
I called it an early night afterwards (normal for me) to rest up in the safety of a room I knew wouldn’t (or certainly shouldn’t) be opened unexpectantly by anyone through the night.
2nd & Pine
The next morning I got up early and went for a run around town with no real destination in mind. I headed left out of my hotel and just a couple blocks down at 2nd and Pine I came across a scene: a man face down on the concrete and paramedics and Seattle police standing nearby while one tended to him. It didn’t look good for the man on the street, but there were more than enough people on site to assist, so I hung a left and kept on heading north towards the university district.
Like Vancouver, what I’d heard about Seattle is that there is a pretty significant drug and homeless crisis. That man was one of many I’d see in Seattle, though only for him did I fear the worst had happened. I tried not to think about it too much, but it stayed with me through the week and of course still today as I write this. What struck me most was that there didn’t appear to be anybody with him, so whenever and whatever had happened, he was alone. I have no idea what circumstances led to him down on the street that day, but I hope he’s okay now wherever he is.
I jetted up north, happy to be running the hills before the sun got really hot. I ended up at Seattle University and ran one of their tracks with a couple other early-morning runners and at some point passed a familiar looking shop; VooDoo Doughnuts. Ah, so they have them here, too! I never did end up getting a chance to try them, maybe one day in Portland.
From Seattle U I made my way north towards Capital Hill for no real reason than the familiarity of the name and then to Volunteer Park for a bit of a break from the streets. I caught a glimpse of some bridge and body of water and made that my next destination which ended up being somewhere near the 520 and Montlake Playfield Park. The plan was then to head west along the water back towards Queen Anne because I’d heard it’s an interesting area, but I ended up dipping back to Volunteer Park to say hi to Bruce and Brandon Lee. I had no idea they were buried in Seattle.
It’s a nice plot if you ever get a chance to go. I used to talk about Bruce Lee a fair bit when I was working in gym’s because I liked his workout style; not such heavy weights, but longer reps. I think a lot of people think you need to lift crazy heavy to get good toning (as evidence by all the dudes I’d see just absolutely killing themselves benching above their range) but you really don’t need to. Lighter weights are plenty as long as you’re consistent with the work.
I was sad when I sat down at the bench at his grave and read his tombstone. Bruce Lee was only 32 years old when he passed away. In two days time, I’d be 35.
It was a little jarring. I didn’t realize how long ago he’d passed nor his age when he did, he’s always just sort of been a staple name in the house and it’s incredible he’s had such an impact on so many in such a short lifetime. It serves a great reminder not to waste the time we have – you just never know.
I took off after paying my respects and continued my run. Seattle just seemed to be full of so many unique gems that I didn’t expect to come across and I was enjoying the day even though I wasn’t really doing anything in particular. I’d keep running and stop periodically to snap a photo of something interesting and then just run on. Did something like almost 23k before I ventured back to my hotel to shower and change; probably could have kept going, but I was still feeling the effects of my blister from Vancouver (a pesky one!) and wanted to find something else to busy myself for a while.
On the run I had found the Sub Pop record store (real close to where I was staying, cool!) and stopped in, but just for a moment for the briefest sweaty browse; I’d come back later and get the fantastic recommendation to visit the Museum of Pop Culture (thanks Sub Pop guy) and snag a tee and some stickers. Turns out their corporate office is right enarby, too, which maybe would have been wise to look up before hand because originally I had this idea to print a copy or two of my Death Bus for Blondie Asphalt Meadows record to vinyl to gift to Ben, but had no realy way of knowing how to get it to him and thought that might’ve been a reasonably safe way to do it (but would it piss of Sub Pop? I have no clue). Ah well, maybe some other time.
I found myself meandering down by the waterfront again. It’s a nice little spot to hang out; I like when waterfronts have ferris wheels like that – there’s just something about ’em (I didn’t take a trip on it though).
I tried a few different coffee shops through the week and got my fill of latte’s for at least the next 3 years and this seems as good a time as any to mention a couple of them:
CoffeeTAB: Right near my hotel, this place caught my attention because of it’s mission “to mentor and train underserved young people who are statistically less likely to transition successfully into adulthood”. It’s a good cup as any and the young folks that served me were super nice. I appreciate a business with a good cause attached to it.
Fuel Coffee: I got a little hungry on my run and came across this cool coffee shop that also serves as a bookstore. It’s LGBTQ+ friendly ( a lot of places seem to be!) with a good vibe and a nice quiet space to stay cool.
Storyville Coffee (Pike Place): I’m a sucker for story-themed shops, so of course I had to venture into Storyville Coffee. It’s on the top floor at Pike Place Market and has an awesome window to sit at if you get there early enough. The rest of the place is pretty rad, too, but that window itself can tell a dozen stories. Good coffee.
The Crumpet Shop: Alright, I wasn’t really going for a coffee this time but I did end up getting one, along with the most delicious buttery crumpet I ever did have. I’m mentioning it along the coffee shops because they also offers refills here (what?!) and while I didn’t take them up on it, I appreciate the hell out of that.
Starbucks: Just kidding, I didn’t go. I suspect it tastes like the Starbucks near my house, but other people seemed to think this place was a big fucking deal.
I did go to Post Alley to see the Gum Wall. It’s digusting. It made my skin crawl. 10/10 recommend.
That evening I spent entirely too much time in my head about whether or not I was going to go do one of the day tours to Snoqualmie or Mount Ranier. This was something I was really really looking forward to doing when I planned this trip, but now it was the night before I planned to go and I wasn’t sure I was up for it.
I knew I’d have a great time regardless (hard not to have fun in a forest), but something was stalling me. Mount Ranier would be a whole day affair (yeah, so? What else have you got to do?) and Snoqualmie would only be 4 hours (is that even enough time to really enjoy the area?) Maybe I just wanted to bus out to Tiger Mountain (Okay, so that’s like a 45 minute bus ride and then a 40 minute Lyft ride apparently. Maybe it’s better to do that when I have my car with me). Mount Ranier would probably be the cooler experience, but it’ll set me back a good chunk of change, too and did I really want to do a group tour? (And maybe Ranier is better to do over a couple days and stay in the area overnight to see more?)
I was paralyzed by the decision and ultimately decided that I might prefer to spend the day again in the city; after all I was enjoying my time so far and finally relaxing a little bit, which was another big point of this trip after the dumb hours I’d be working to come here.
“Don’t overthink it,” said the little voice inside my head as I climbed into bed that night.
I can’t help it.
35
I let myself stay in bed later than usual on Wednesday. Begrudgingly, I looked at my phone.
It was my 35th birthday.
Should have booked the day tip to Mount Ranier.
Well, what should I do today? I’ve already spent quite a bit of time at the water and I was feeling really tired. I’d been clearing 42-50k steps most days of my trip at this point and my body was really feeling it now.
I probably should be eating more.
My other thought was to just spend the day at a beach of some sort, but I’d learned as well at this point that Seattle doesn’t really do beaches. They have a lot of rock beaches which isn’t in any way the same thing, but they don’t seem to care to build any sand-based beaches for whatever reason. There was one that looked half decent, Alki beach across the water – you’d need to take a ferry to get there, but it looked alright.
I wasn’t sure I loved the name of it. I looked it up a couple times, again feeling wildly indecisive for some reason. Why did I have such an extreme pull to being in the city?
Maybe I’ll have an easier time deciding after I get some food in me.
I went out and grabbed a coffee instead and parked myself somewhere. Bad habits die hard.
I guess I just don’t really feel like doing much today. And boy, even for someone that loves being the sun as much as I do, the last week has felt like I’ve been in it non-stop.
I decided it’d be a great day to visit the Museum of Pop Culture. The Sub Pop guy had really sold me on it and said it would take a few hours to really go through it, so it was just what I needed.
For the record, this museum is super cool even if you consider yourself someone that doesn’t “do museums”. It’s pretty interactive so you won’t feel like you’re spending the whole day reading plaques.
Of course, I hit up the music areas first. To note: the Nirvana exhibit is a great look at that band, their sudden rise, swift tragic end & incredible impact on music and listeners as a whole. That said, I found the maps of Seattle-area grunge and other notable acts just as significant and fun to prowl through in the same zone.
The Jimi Hendrix exhibit was another great one; Honestly I didn’t realize he was originally from Seattle cause Jimi was just such a massive global idol that I don’t think I ever placed him as being necessarily “from” anywhere. He just was and is and we’re grateful for him. There’s a section of his room for the Electric Lady console (the original 1969 custom-mbuilt Datamix) and took an extra look at the photos on the wall – one of which includes legendary music producer Eddie Kramer who worked with just about every rock star you can think of.
It was a nice thing to see for me. In my earliest years of working in recording studios, I worked with Eddie Kramer on a project. I was just a little assistant/intern, but Eddie would call me on the way in to the studio (“do you mind picking me up some Robaxin? My back…”) and that’s always kind of funny for me to think about. Eddie’s a super nice guy; even let me be a tape op on the session for a day.
It’s funny to think of all the time I’ve somehow found myself in a room with these types of people – the kinds of people who end up in Museums as a real part of signifcant history. Life is strange and wonderful when you least expect it.
The guitar gallery is super rad if you’re into guitars (duh) or even just curious to learn more about them. You can listen through audio samples of different popular songs that say primarily used a Fender Stratocaster or a Gibson Les Paul and hear the difference (and yes, you really can hear the difference). Of course, I’d like to see more guitars played by women in the gallery, but we’ll get there someday.
The other really cool space to check out is the jam zone and studios room. You can play around on drums, keys, bass, guitar or even vocals out in the open or secluded in a little soundproof room – band jams, too if you brought some buddies or are willing to make some fast friends. You can even try your hand at mixing! Super rad! I’ve never seen anything quite like it. It was about noon by the time I reached this zone (I arrived at the museum right when it opened to beat the crowds as much as possible), and it was jam (ha!) packed full of kids and teens trying everything out. Not a single room was available, although even if one had been, there were so many kids around you know there’s no way I would have taken the opportunity from them. I didn’t take a picture here because I think that’s weird to do to unsuspecting kids, so you’ll just have to take my word for it and check it out for yourself sometime.
I walked up the stairs (there are more studio rooms up there) just to get a birds eye view of the scene below and it was pretty awesome to see so many people excited to play around on the instruments. I understand on some level why they don’t, but it would be cooler if music stores had this same vibe instead of the sort of stiff, pretentious vibe they all kinda hold. While up top, I read a couple of the quotes and checked out the artwork painted onto the walls. It was up there that I found a quote from Ben Gibbard about writing music.
It was the second mention I caught in the museum of Death Cab For Cutie (who are also a little blip on the Seattle-area map I told you about in the Nirvana room representing Bellingham) and I was happy to see it. When I was in Seattle, the grunge-presence was obviously quite noticeable; tons of shops with artwork or merchandise relating to Pearl Jam, Nirvana & on and on, but not much of Death Cab For Cutie. I’d quip to myself that it was because they’re not dead yet and that it’s a bit of a bummer how we often wait until people pass away to truly acknowledge their cultural significance and impact. I love a lot of Seattle-based bands (even before I knew they were from there!) but the only one that had a strong enough grasp on me personally to bring me there is Death Cab.
I shared this photo with a blurb the following day on my Instagram:
Last year (or was it the year before? Time is sure going by quick these days) I had taken the plunge to finally work with a producer who is not myself. It came with a price tag I didn’t love, but I was ready and open to work with someone who might offer me a fresh perspective. Working by myself for so many years now, I sometimes worry about trapping myself in my own little weird box. Plus, the song, while but a simple lovey dovery pop song, I really wanted a polished cut of and I haven’t been 100% happy with the results I’ve been able to achieve in my bedroom for that. For the grittier indie rock stuff I do, I’m all well and fine with it, but I wanted this one to be a step above and I wanted to hear myself differently.
I wrote about this experience (and ther will be a brief update to it soon) in a blog series called Am I Being Scammed By… My Music Producer? Because that’s ultimately how the experience felt to me. Most of all, I was incredibly disappointed with the lack of care the producer showed throughout the process – it was unlike anything I’d seen before and I couldn’t believe it was happening to me. I still can’t.
So, despite that producers many Grammy’s, Billboard Hits & fancy plaques on his wall showing his great work with incredible artists I could only dream of working with, I ended up hating the way we recorded the song so much that I refused to release it and cut ties with him all together.
Not only was it not up to my own personal standards (I attest I can do better on my own at home in my bedroom), but funnily enough I had written that song with Ben in mind and damnit if I wasn’t going to make sure it didn’t sound like total dogshit.
The quote on the wall in the jam zone reaffirmed my decision. I think a lot of other musicians might’ve just gone ahead and released it if they had been in my shoes just to be attached to name with alleged credibility in the industry.
I still haven’t released a recorded version of this song, but I do intend to eventually.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, so after you check out all that other cool stuff, the next best area and arguably the most captivating area is in an exhibit called Never Turn Back: Echoes of African American Music.
I looove old gospel and blues music so this was right up my alley. I tried to take my time and listen through as much as I could, jotting down the odd track name or artist name in my phone for later listening (or to jog my memory next time I’m at a record store). There’s just so much to learn here and just about every major rock band I’ve ever been influenced by has been influenced by the artists you’ll see up here, so it’s a really cool way to get better acquainted with where modern music really came from.
I could talk the exhibit about it all day but again, it’s one of those things best experienced yourself.
After I had my music fill, I ventured over to the film area. There is so much cool stuff in there I can’t even remember it all. Nods to Star Trek & Star Wars, Back to the Future, Ninja Turtles, Lord of the Rings, The Wizard of Oz – a whole area just about horror classics – it was insane! I really enjoyed my time going through it all and appreciate that the Sub Pup guy told me to give myself a few hours for it all because you really do need it.
I left feeling fulfilled and re-inspired with suddenly a lot of work I wanted to get myself back to.
But it was still early and I was still in Seattle, so after grabbing some quick nutrition (guess), I took off to the Aquarium. Might as well make this an exhibit day.
Don’t worry, I won’t give you a play by play of my Aquarium adventure, but I do recommend it fro the giant octopus (who was sleeping and probably entering your nightmares with its giant tentacles) and harbour seals (who were being playful and silly and enjoying having a captivated audience) and energetic puffins like this sharp-lookin’ one:
Being that it was my birthday, I did make a point to get over to a restaurant for a half- decent meal. Great State Burger was delicious the day before, but I was surrounded by tons of Italian restaurants where I was staying so I had to give one a go. I ended up choosing La Vita E Bella because it had a lovely looking patio.
They serve fresh warm bread with oil & balsamic while you wait for your main and it was fantastic. I hadn’t had a pesto pasta in a long time and it didn’t disappoint. There was only 1 other table on the patio when I went so service was also super on point. I’d go back again sometime.
By the time all that was said and done it was still early, maybe 6PM. I started to scroll around on my phone for other things to do that night since afterall, it was my birthday.
I was told about a bar up in the university district called the Kraken which sounded like a low-key place I’d enjoy, but I wasn’t really feeling up for the trip even though it was just a zip up on the Link train. I did however regret not checking it out the day before when I was first alerted to it because turned out I had missed their Open Mic night and that would’ve been really cool to see (or play!)
I decided to head back to my hotel to chill out a bit and get changed because there was another show going on a little closer to home; a country show with 3 different artists playing that sounded like it could be just as fun and it was only $20.
But the truth is that as the afternoon had waned on I was feeling a little out of sorts. A little bummed out, I guess, that I was by myself again on my birthday. I don’t really mind it, but each year it happens I find myself more erring on the side of “it really would be nice to spend the day with someone other than myself.”
I showered and got changed and my exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks. I spent the next hour trying to convince myself I still wanted to go to the country show, but I knew I only felt that way because I was feeling a little sad and lonely and I knew being in a room with strangers doesn’t usually help with that when my mood’s gotten so low.
I knew I’d been overdoing it over the week, constantly running around from this place to that and not giving myself much rest, so eventually I resigned.
I put on the TV and found Jurassic World playing on one of the channels. The one I’d already seen was just finishing up, but afterwards would be one I wasn’t sure I’d seen.
It’s fine, I’m tired, I’ll just stay in and watch this. There are worse ways to spend a birthday.
Turns out that nay, there are not worse ways. That movie was fucking terrible. I didn’t even finish it.
And I love the original Jurassic Park trilogy – it’s probably my favourite trilogy even though everyone says the third one sucks (it just doesn’t have the same magic as the first one because that one was the first one, y’know?) but these new ones with Chris Pratt are god awful. And I feel like it’s hard to make a movie about dinosaurs be bad. Dinosaur movies are like pizza that way, even when they’re bad they’re still kinda good, but that last one fucking blew. It was Dominos pizza. Cold Dominos pizza that has fallen on the floor and been stepped on repeatedly and you may as well be licking dirt.
I turned it off. I went to bed. Fuck my birthday – who cares.
Showtime
I got up on Thursday and went for a run. It was not just a new day, but the most exciting day of the trip because later that night we’d be at Climate Pledge Arena watching Death Cab For Cutie perform Plans.
I know I said just like two parapgraphs ago how being in a room of strangers watching a show doesn’t do much to lift up my spirits when I’m feeling low, but that’s not the case at Death Cab shows – I knew it would be just the refill I’d need to get me back to feeling like my normal still-depressed-but-not-depressed-enough-to-watch-Jurassic World-self.
Just a quick run today, I was still exhausted. I ran over to Climate Pledge to sort out where the gate I would need to enter was and do a little loop around the Needle. And that’s when I learned where KEXP was located and that they have a little cafe. Cool!
I stopped in for a coffee since the run didn’t really matter to me today and it looked like a sweet spot to hang out for a minute. And it really is. There weren’t too many people in there when I arrived sometime just after 8AM so I snagged a spot on a comfortable couch and caught up on some social media posting for a minute. In the corner across from me, some Death Cab inspired art covers the emergency exit (because of course it would). I feel almost instantly better.
I finish up a croissant and start to make my way back to the Moore when things take a turn for the worse.
I’m doing a light jog when my vision starts to get all fucked up. I can’t relaly describe it, it wasn’t like seeing stars or something which is an otherwise sort of normal thing that happens if I’ve accidentally caught a bright light or stand up way too fast in situtions where I’m dehydrated, it’s like this bizarre kaleidoscope prism. I think at first it’s just from the sun but it doesn’t let up so I slow down to a walk again and blink a couple times. Nope, still there and it’s making me a little nervous.
I try not to stress to hard about it because I know if I panic it’ll be worse. A few minutes later I’m back at my hotel and turning the key to the door which still has the DND sign on it becaue I didn’t want the cleaning staff to bother cleaning my room every day (just seemed unneccesary, I’m a pretty clean person).
I sit down on the bed and it’s still there. I’m more nervous now because it’s hung on for such a long time, but it appears to be… is it moving out of my vision? Is it going away? It’s hard to tell, but I think so. My heart rate jumps a bit and I begin to panic and have bad thoughts. Fuck I do not want to die in this hotel room. I should take the DND sign off the door because if I pass out or something no one will find me until tomorrow at check-out, but if I take it off, they’ll be here maybe in an hour or two and I might still have a shot at living depending on when this things takes hold. Is it going away? I think it might be. Don’t look at your FitBit, if you see a weird number as your heart rate you’ll flip the fuck out. I should go downtstairs. I think I should go downstairs. Am I being ridiculous? It hasn’t gone away yet. Damnit, I would hate to be in the hospital during the Death Cab show, I hope it’s nothing. It ultimately freaked me out enough that I headed back down to the lobby to sit on the couch there. At least then if something really did happen to me (I was worried I was about to black out or something), there would be people around.
I sat there for a few minutes and slowly it dissipated into nothing. I felt fine. Everything seemed fine. I don’t know what the fuck that was all about, but it seems to have passed.
I go back upstairs and I think for a moment about how this is one of my least favourite parts about travelling solo. I have no one I trust to turn to when things like this happen and I’m never really wholly sure what to do. Should I have gone to a doctor? Maybe, I don’t know. I’ve had some weird health things occuring over the last couple years but all the results have been inconclusive with the exception of my NAFLD diagnosis which I felt I’d been handling well and wasn’t overly concerned about at this point.
I didn’t do much for the rest of the day. I went to hang out by the water again and tried not to think about what happened so that I didn’t wig myself out.
And while I was sitting there I thought about the funny gravitational pull the waterfront had on me. I spent a lot of time there each day looking at the mountains and the water and just enjoying being in Seattle on such nice summer days – I really lucked out with the weather, I think.
I thought again about how interesting it was that I’d been compelled to visit because of my affection for Death Cab For Cutie but how I didn’t feel a terribly strong DCFC presence while I was exploring around; Instead the grunge scene completely dominates to the point where if you didn’t know DCFC were from there, you wouldn’t have necessarily figured it out by walking around.
And then I had a funny realization as I looked off the pier. I had said the day before I didn’t really feel DCFC had a strong presence in Seattle so much, but there it was. Elliott Bay and Puget Sound, the Cascade mountain ranges, now staring right back at me unfiltered. Oh, you’ve been here all along. It sure is a nice view.
And where else? The planes overhead and ships in the ports. The neighbourhoods (Capital Hill) and towns (Bellingham) I’d come to learn of first through the band’s music or interviews. In the Sub Pop store and right there at KEXP after having watched their live performances from there online from thousands of miles away.
And alongside each footstep I took on all my walks and runs; the voice of reassurance when my vision started to go that got me back to my hotel. You’re okay, you’re safe here.
I think that Death Cab have a very special discography that does a particualrly good job of weaving us listeners not just into the stories but also the places that each one is inspired by or takes place in. They’re a lot like The Tragically Hip that way, I think. The Tragically Hip are still to so many considered “Canada’s band” because they did such a remarkable job weaving Canadian culture and the history of all it’s peoples into their records over the years while also taking a proactive appraoch to community initiatives. I think Death Cab For Cutie might be like that for the western United States, only I would have not ever really made that connection if I hadn’t come to Seattle to wander around the way I did.
No, they might not be adorned all over coffee mugs and t-shirts at all the little shops, but to me they’ll always be in those mountains.
I got changed and headed over to the venue early. What can I say, I’d travelled a long way not to get a good spot near the stage.
In line I’d meet some friendly fans who had also travelled for the show (from California) and we’d get to chatting about this and that; travelling, working, their upcoming wedding and how their fiance was maybe a little pissed they were travelling so close to their wedding date. “I wanted to go to the show next week, but it’s on our wedding day and she didn’t want to change the date.”
I’ve been married before, but also divorced, so I saw both sides of the argument. A wedding can be on any arbitrary day, but each show experience is unique and only happens once.
I jest. (Sort of).
Whereas outside we had 4 clear lines, as soon as the doors opened at Climate Pledge those 4 lines basically become two, or one blob that is sort of two lines depending on which ticket reader you shuffled yourself closer to. It was a little messy, but we got through quick enough so I wasn’t fussed. And then we were immediately stopped: security check. There were technically 3 or 4 of those, but not enough staff manning each one, so again it was basically two lines and if you were lucky you chose the one on the far right that moved way faster. I foolishly went in the middle where a staff member was manning two lines – it was slow, and you were in a stairwell so you couldn’t easily switch to the fast line. This wasn’t a huge deal except for the fact that it meant that it didn’t matter if you were first in line outside and you ended up in this terrible line vortex inside – people who were way behind me in line outside got through well ahead of me.
No big deal, it happens.
Once we got our wristbands we were off. It was a bit of a trek to get through the arena down to the floor, fortunately I had a hoard of people to follow. Because of the entry kerfuffle, I was condemned again to my usual spot: second row, little to the left and fortunately behind some women who were shorter than me. Sight lines are of critical importance on the floor.
While ahead of the Jimmy Eat World show people in the audience offered up and passed around edibles, here ahead of Death Cab For Cutie we had a bit of a different experience. A woman had made some cute pins with DCFC albums and the bands faces on them (and an odd abundance of Seth Cohen’s) and offered those up – eventually the bag disappeared and she was happy they were such a hit. There always seems to be at least one fan doing this at Death Cab shows – the street team era is still alive and well on the west coast.
I’m not much of a pin person but everyone was so excited that I snagged a couple for myself: “Thank You For Today” and one of Ben’s face that I placed on my crossover bag strap.
Behind me a man was wearing a Savannah Bananas jersey so I had to compliment it. I wore my Blue Jays jersey (Barger: #47. Born in Bellevue, WA). You can always find baseball fans at Death Cab shows.
I ended up chatting with the guy beside me about a few things; it was his second time at a Death Cab show and he’d also come solo and travelled a bit to be there. It was nice to feel like I actually hadn’t come to the show alone, I kind of forgot what that’s like honestly!
He ended up explaining to me a bit about the design of the arena which helped explain why I thought it looked weirdly small from outside (it’s not, it’s capacity is 18,600). It’s actually a very cool arena and looks like it has great views no matter where you’re sitting and comfortable seats throughout – it’d be nice to catch a Kraken game here someday.
Nation of Language opened up the show; Newly added to the Sub Pop roster and originally from Brooklyn, NY. I’d heard some of their music but never seen them live like much of the audience that night. They sounded great and put on a solid show – if you dig 80’s/New Wave, you’ll enjoy them a lot.
They set the right tone for the night and we were all hype for Death Cab to hit the stage.
A short time later, cue the intro music & here we go!
Since this was obviously the 20th anniversary of Plans and that’s what had gathered us all in the arena that night, it goes without saying that the band was due to play the entire record from start to finish. But, before they really got going, Ben hit us with the housekeeping for the day which I always appreciate (“We’re going to play Plans, take a brief bow maybe depending on how it goes, and then come back and play some more” – almost all events are better served by some gentle housekeeping before things really get rolling.
Now, I’m not really a live music reviewer because my review is normally just like, “Man, that was sick. Definitely exceeded/met expectations,” or “Wow, that blew some real chunks – never again” and I’m not sure how valuable my commentary is in this type of space, but I’ll try to tell you a bit more about it.
Death Cab For Cutie are one of my favourite bands to see live and one of the few I’ll take the extra effort to travel for to a unique show experience like this one because they’re always super tight live and tonight was no exception. Everyone sounded great and if anyone had missed a bar or a note, you wouldn’t have caught it.
Ben has an incredible magnetism about him on stage and it’s hard to pay attention to virtually anything else. Are there words on the screen behind him? Oh, there are. There’s like a whole visual component to this set and it’s beautiful done, but I’m distracted. I know that I have a big dumb crush on the guy, but there is no way I’m the only one that notices it. He’s confident, he’s calm & he commands attention all without relying on absurd or extravagent stage props.
That all said, when Dave Depper has the opportunity to rip into a solo, my ears perk up and my head immedaitely turns. I’ve said it before but I love watching Dave play guitar, he’s got great style.
On a similar note, Nick doesn’t have to do much to be effortlessly cool. Those bass lines are always a treat and I don’t think he’s ever fucked a single one of them up at a show I’ve been to.
The atmosphere wouldn’t be anything near what it is without the addition of Zac’s keys and Jason’s stellar drumming. I wish I could play like those guys, they’re insane.
There were just a couple brief technical glitches at the show which hopefully the tech’s sorted out before the second Seattle stint on Saturday: Ben’s mic wasn’t live and ready for a moment or two of dialogue and was almost inaudibly low during at least one outro. And that slideshow? I don’t know if it was already timed to do it or it was operator error, but it seemed to jump ahead during a couple tracks when the intent seemed to be to have the lyrics on screen in time with Ben’s vocal.
All relatively minor things that probably weren’t noticed by most in the audience, but if it were me at the helm of either of those controls I’d be fucking mortified by it personally -e specially the vocal drops. That’s the thing of nightmares when you’re a live events technician, at a bands hometown anniversary show, no less! It’d be one thing if it happened it Brooklyn or Chicago, y’know? I jest, I jest…
I couldn’t really get any half decent photos of the night; my proximity to the stage lights and the egregious amount of stage haze made that an impossible ask, but to be honest I was happy to have a reason not to fuss with my phone camera. I enjoy it, but I know other people get all sensitive about it.
There was one part of the show that I’d be foolish not to highlight if not just for the awful irony of the moment.
During “What Sarah Said,” as Ben & the band are getting into the outro bit repeating, “So who’s going to watch you die?” we had a medical emergency in the crowd. A couple rows behind me on the floor someone had abruptly fainted and everyone around them was calling for the show to stop so we could get them help.
After the experience I had earlier in the day myself and the peculiar feeling of deja vu that came over me, I almost couldn’t believe it.
This happened in San Francisco. It’ll be fine, Ben will notice and stop the show.
It felt like it took a little bit longer than it should have probably for the security to understand what was needed, though they did get eyes on the situation pretty quick. I don’t fault them for this – sometimes it’s really best to take the extra second to look before bursting over the barricade and we all have slightly different reaction times in these moments depending on our own experience or training for them.
Sure enough after the last line was sung, the band realized there was something going on that needed attention. The audience parted like the red sea to let security over the barricade.
See, just like before.
I couldn’t really see the person who had fainted where I was, just the circle of people around them. So just as in San Francisco, I peered back to the stage to catch Ben looking on and making sure the fan got into the right hands and out of the floor.
That calmness and confidence I mentioned earlier that you notice when he’s performing is just as prevalent in these moments and it’s incredibly reassuring. If I ever find myself in a real crisis, I hope someone with Ben’s personality type is nearby for it.
The show went on as it does and we were treated afterwards to another hour of Death Cab classics. 10/10, no notes. We all agreed it was a great time.
Once again I caught zero guitar picks or sweatbands and I’m not one to reach for a set-list, but you know I was not going home empty handed.
Before the show I went back over to KEXP for the Sub Pop pop-up merch event to try and snag one of the Plans vinyl in the green variant and one of the t-shirts I’d seen online. They were already sold out of both items, so I got some other stuff instead. But I had to check out the merch at the show where I was pretty sure I’d have no trouble getting what I was looking for.
The guy that was chatting with me throughout the show joined me to the merch counter which was great because he seemed to know his way around the arena and I obviously did not. It felt like having my own little personal tour guide!
We joined the hoard of people at the merch table on the concourse and commisserated over the cost of everything. I explained that I don’t always buy band merch at every show I go to, but I can’t help myself at Death Cab shows – it’s like a substitute for drug addiction at this point. We both agreed there were worse things to be addicted to and I happily snagged my vinyl and not one but two tees making the day’s full count 3 vinyl and 3 tees.
What? I need to restock my stash. My old ones were looking a little raunch.
“How’s the exchange rate these days?” my new friend asked.
I laughed. “It’s terrible.” That’s a problem for later-me.
We parted ways outside and I made my way back slowly to my hotel. I knew now that the band like to make a pretty quick exit after their shows (a total Bob Dylan move, for the record), something I learned back in Toronto outside Massey Hall when I stumbled into Ben and Nick making their daring escape, and I figured they’d be extra particular about it in Seattle so I wasn’t going to hang around the venue. It was a beautiful night though and I thought it’d be nice to drop off my things and take one last walk by the waterfront.
As I crossed the road, a Seattle Police van made its way away from the venue from near the doors we entered through and I wondered briefly if that was today’s getaway vehicle. It would be fitting, given where we were, but do Death Cab get access to those sort of resources? I have zero concept of the scope of their celebrity here but felt like I could be right.
I dropped off my stuff as planned, changed into a hoodie and took off down 2nd to Pike and then down to the piers. It was a ghost town. A completely different vibe than I’d experienced all week long with all the other tourists and presumably a handful of locals. I relished it.
After snapping a few last photos, I made my way up a stairway to head back to my hotel for the night.
As I got on the adjoining street, a van was pulling in. A black van. And I got a funny feeling.
Kinda looks like those vans we use back home for events.
I slowed my pace just so and caught a look through the semi-tinted windows.
Hey, that kinda looks like…
I didn’t want to be a total weirdo but I was pretty sure that at least 3 of the heads in the van looks an awful lot like they could belong to a Dave, a Zac and a Jason.
My heart seemed sure of it before my eyes were.
I looked around – it was dead quiet.
I had to be sure.
I casually walked past the van and tried to make it not super obvious that I was trying to get a better look and then I just kinda slithered in front of it. Dave, if it was Dave, was standing with his back to me talking to someone, Jason seemed to have a doppleganger, and Zac was over in the far left about to walk into the building they’d driven up to, though he did stop with the others. And there were others there, but noticably absent were Nick and Ben. Maybe the Seattle Police escort only lets one or two of them go with.
It all happened so fast I wasn’t sure if my eyes were just playing tricks on me again. Could I be this lucky?
My brain was on autopilot now and I’m not sure who decided what I’d say next, but it was something to the effect of, “Sorry, not to be a creep,” (as I creepily approached from behind), I was just at the show (they seemed to acknowledge they knew what show I was talking about – nevermind that I was wearing a Death Cab sweater), and I just happened to be walking by and —” I trailed off a bit. (Who cares about that!) “You guys were great. You’re awesome” I held my hand out to someone, I still can’t be sure, my eyes were darting everywhere.
They said thanks. Someone shook my hand.
“Okay, have a good night!” I withered away.
I wandered up towards Metsker Maps in mild shock.
The hell just happened? Did I just get hit by a bus?
The whole interaction lasted maybe 20 seconds and I was all sorts of out of it.
On the one hand, I maybe just met three of my favourite musicians and actually managed to speak (I was a deer in headlights with Ben and Nick, but to be fair, so were they), on the other hand if that wasn’t them that will be a really weird memory for that group of strangers I just randomly approached at, what time is it? It’s late, I need to go to bed.
I walked back in a daze and then didn’t sleep well at all as I fumbled around replaying the week I’d had and how it all ended.
Eventually of course I did fall asleep and the next morning I had enough time for a final venture out for a coffee and some breakfast. The line was still huge at Ludi, so forget the breakfast.
I walked back to the scene of the crime last night as though it might jog my memory better and then I thought that’d be weird if I ran into them a second time, so I took off for the waterfront.
I recognize that I spent an unusual amount of time doing just about nothing at all while here. I didn’t see any other shows as I intended or get out to some of the other landmarks I’d picked out ahead of the trip and I was still kicking myself a little about not going for a hike here or taking the ferry to Alki Beach, but political strife aside, I feel like one day I’ll come back here and make time for all those other things.
Was it worth travelling all this way for the Plans show?
That’s about the only thing I’m sure of.
I was taking two planes back home. The first one to Vancouver for a short layover before heading back to Toronto. I’d planned my trip just well enough to ensure when I got home I’d have time to sleep a little before I had to go to work that same day.
The planes had other plans for us and I was hit with two significant delays which meant spending a solid 5 hours in the Vancouver airport before we could take off.
It was at that time I swore to myself that I would bring my laptop next time, because I could have written this entire series in that time and this would have already been out and published. Instead now it’s August 12th and I feel behind my own schedule.
Nonetheless, there is one small story left to share with you.
On the plane, groggy from my lack of sleep to begin with and then the spiraling I did in the airport bored out of my mind, I tried my very best to fall asleep and was surprisingly success for at least a few minutes until something poked at me around 3:30AM.
I’ve sort of been actively avoiding writing any new songs lately, but a new idea hit me right there.
It’s yet another inspired by this trip, by Ben & the places I’ve gone as a direct result of being an avid listener of his bands for much of my life & all of his. It’s called The Great Archeological Dig & you can hear it on my Instagram page for now until the record’s done.
What can I say, there’s something about airplanes.
Happy Anniversary Plans & Happy Belated Birthday Ben.
And a very special thanks to all the people I met on this trip – you all made this a lot more fun and I appreciate every conversation. Hope to see ya again soon.
Crooked Forest 