I reacted pretty abruptly to the bombshell news dropped in Sum 41’s Deryck Whibley’s first memoir, Walking Disaster: My Life Through Heaven and Hell back when we first got our copy, but didn’t really get a chance to talk about the rest of the book while I let myself process it.

But, I do want to turn your attention to the memoir. If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet and grew up with Sum 41 like I did, this one is really worth a read.

While I was never that music kid who aspired to extreme rockstardom and all that it seemed to entail (probably because the whole sex and drugs aspect of it all never really looked to be all that enticing for women in the industry) it is always interesting in a sort of bizarre way to hear about people like Deryck’s experience.

I could be wrong, but Sum 41 were a band on the tail end of that era of rock and roll. These days, it’s pretty fucking uncool to have that power-tripping rockstar ego and it’s even more uncool to be addicted to cocaine and whiskey or whatever else – and honestly we’re all better for it.

Nonetheless, much of Deryck’s memoir is circled around exactly that; his and the bands addiction to partying, the Hollywood circles they’d find themselves in, befriending his own childhood heroes throughshared love of recklessness and rock… and occassionally being forced to write some songs before entering elaborate recording studios with absolutely stupid unheard of budgets that no musician should ever really need.

On a more personal side, after devulging the sexual abuse and coercion by former manager Greig Nori, Deryck lets us in to the behind the scenes life between him and pop-punk princess Avril Lavigne, the media frenzy that followed it and its sudden end that even Deryck doesn’t really have much of an explanation for; Although he carefully tiptoes over the idea that it was due to Avril’s eventual disinterest in the relationship and cheating.

Knowing the way Deryck’s life eventually disolves and lands him in the hospital as near to death as any of us could ever be, it’s hard not to read this one and find yourself constantly wondering, “is this where he tries to get his act together? Maybe here? Maybe after this?!” and be stunned as the pages go on and on and he just continues to live his life blissfully unphased by the damage he’s doing to himself as time passes. Fortuantely, he makes it out the other end relatively unscathed and able to write this book.

The most interesting part of the memoir for me, though, is Deryck’s take on his Sum 41 bandmates, their attitudes and conversations that were had through the years. Having just seen the band on the farewell tour where it was obvious that there was some serious emotional distance between Cone and Deryck, the memoir helps bring some understanding to why and when those relationships started to crumble and serve as a stark reminder that a lot of these bands, even those that began in their teens together like Sum 41, carry a whole lot of baggage by the time their careers reach their peaks. They’re lucky if they’re able to keep themselves together long enough to celebrate a huge milestone like Sum 41 recently did and I think that in itself is cause for some celebration.

If nothing else, this memoir really highlights the drastic changes we’ve seen in the music industry over the last 30 years, which doesn’t seem like it’s been a ton of time, but we are looking at a completely different landscape than we’ve ever understood before, especially as it pertains to rock.

The industry that Deryck describes in great detail is really the one I thought I was entering back when I was 17 and it kept me guarded, confused and on some level untrusting, all while knowing I had to give so much of myself just for the opportuntiy to be in the rooms I was in. In retrosepct, it’s easy to see how any of us can fall prey to manipulative industry pro’s who better understand how to navigate the game of it all.

What’s always tough for me to grapple with though, is reading about how people like Deryck sort of stumble into a single great connection that changes the entire trajectory of their life and then, while they’re in the hot seat complaining about early morning interviews and having to finish writing songs in a rushed hurry because they were too busy fucking off and partying for weeks ahead of the sessions, former studio engineers like myself were not even getting paid to be available to them, to assist on those records that made it possible for those artists to live lavishly, to eventually spend days castle shopping (castle shopping, really, Deryck?) and being mildly pissed off that their new wife wants to take a yacht trip for their honeymoon.

It’s wild because although Deryck details his humble beginnings quite well, it’s kind of incredible how quickly he took to the Hollywood role that presented itself to him, too. I can’t say it wouldn’t happen to me because I’ve never been even remotely close to the type of wealth, fame or stability that he’s had, and I certainly can’t say I’d handle it any better than he did, but after reading this memoir, for the first time I really felt the divide.

I used to joke when I was younger that I was going to be the female Deryck Whibley; We have a handful of similarities and I feel like we’d get along well, especially now that he’s matured and grown up some, but after reading the memoir, we really couldn’t be more different and I could never see myself living the lifestyle he’s had. I also straight up could not see myself surviving it, so I’m happy that he is still kickin’ and able to tell us about it.

Hearing the story is much more interesting from Deryck’s perspective than mine of course, so go on out and grab yourself a copy and give this one a read.